Deep Thought

[rwarn17588]

Guido is about to get angry and pop off.

[FOTD]

Thread change name suggestion: Deep Throat

[PonderInc]

Darn!  I thought this thread was going to be dedicated to "Deep Thoughts" by Jack Handy.

"If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off. You see, we BUILD to that. "

"I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you're in midair, you still hit those brakes! Hey, better try the emergency brake!"

"Most of the time it was probably real bad being stuck down in a dungeon. But some days, when there was a bad storm outside, you'd look out your little window and think, 'Boy, I'm glad I'm not out in THAT.'" 

"If you ever go temporarily insane, don't shoot somebody, like a lot of people do. Instead, try to get some weeding done, because you'd really be surprised."

[Townsend]

"If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact."

"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down?  We might if they screamed all the time for no good reason."

[cannon_fodder]

"I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it. "

"If you stick a knife into a pumpkin it becomes festive.  If you stick a knife into a block of wood it becomes art.  But if you stick a knife into your wife it becomes a crime.  I just don't get it."

"If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now. "

I hope that after I die, people will say of me: "That guy sure owed me a lot of money.''

[Hoss]

'To me, it's always a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?," you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks." '

'I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then when somebody comes up act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!" '

'If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to teach him to do some tricks. But ONLY if you're serious about adopting the vulture.'