Methamphetamine-fueled Attack Squirrel !!!

[patric]

An Alabama man wanted on drug and gun charges, who authorities said kept an "attack squirrel" in his apartment, denied allegations that he fed his squirrel meth to "keep it aggressive."

Investigators searched an Athens, Alabama, apartment Monday after getting a tip that Mickey Paulk, 35, was keeping a methamphetamine-fueled "attack squirrel" at the residence, the statement said.

The deputies found a squirrel in a cage, and after confirming with Alabama Game and Fish that Alabama residents cannot legally keep a pet squirrel, they released it. As to the tip the squirrel was fed drugs, police could not confirm.
"There was no safe way to test the squirrel for meth," the sheriff's department statement said.

Paulk — although still wanted for possession of an illegal firearm, possession of a controlled substance and possession of drug paraphernalia — appeared in a video on Facebook with a squirrel Tuesday night.
In the video he says he no longer lived at the residence that was raided, but went there after the search, whistled, and the squirrel settled on his shoulder.

Stephen Young, a spokesman for the Limestone County Sheriff's Office, told NBC News Wednesday that the man in the video was the man investigators were still looking for.

In the video, Paulk acknowledge that the squirrel is aggressive and had bitten people, but denied that the rodent was trained to attack.
"The public isn't in danger from the methed-out squirrel in the neighborhood," Paulk said, with a chuckle.

He wrote on Facebook that he had been bottle-feeding the animal since it was hours old and raising it "like it was my own."
"He does not know how to live in the wild. So all they really did was try to kill him," Paulk said. "He's a little shook up by the whole incident."
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/alabama-man-denies-pet-methed-out-attack-squirrel-n1019386

Paulk, for his part, claims that he had moved out of the apartment several weeks before, and his name wasn't on the lease.

The squirrel was going to be the last thing that he moved over to his new place, because his new roommate had a cat who he thought might scare it. He had been going back to his old apartment every day to check on the squirrel and feed him, he told The Post, but the contraband that police found there wasn't his.
"The charges that are on me are just as bogus as the squirrel doing meth."
https://www.facebook.com/Dirtykracker/videos/2378261362403107/ NSFW

Once he learned that police had released the squirrel outdoors, Paulk went back to try to find his twitchy companion. He had never planned on adopting a squirrel in the first place, but about a year ago, while he was working for a company cutting trees, the baby fell off of a branch. Paulk, whose previous pets included a raccoon and a tarantula, took the small creature home. For the next six weeks, he woke up every two hours to feed him formula and make sure that the heating pad was working. Eventually, he trained the junior squirrel to use a litter box, sleep in a hammock, and eat potato chips and caramel M&M's. When the animal started having seizures, Paulk took him to a veterinarian over the state line in Tennessee, who diagnosed the squirrel with a calcium deficiency and told Paulk to cut back on nuts and seeds, and give the squirrel more squash and avocados.

Paulk told The Post that there was no question he had to go back for the squirrel. The creature had been living in captivity since he was just a few hours old and would surely die if left to fend for himself in the wild. Returning to the scene of the drug raid, he heard a screaming sound coming from a tree about 50 to 60 feet away. It was his pet.

"Once he saw it was me, he came on down," he said. "He jumped on my arm, and we got in the car and left."

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2019/06/20/police-called-it-meth-fueled-attack-squirrel-an-alabama-fugitive-says-its-his-beloved-pet

[patric]

'Meth-gators': Tennessee police warn flushing drugs could create hyper-aggressive alligators

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/tennessee-police-warn-locals-not-flush-drugs-fear-meth-gators-n1030291

...because "Sharknado 5" needs competition in the Deep South.

[Ed W]

I don't know about you, but the prospect of a gator running 35 mph, crashing through walls, and leaping into second story windows has me very concerned...along with the idea of snacking on, say, David Hasselhoff.