NEW DOLLAR COINS ROLL OUT TODAY

[mdunn]

quote:Originally posted by cannon_fodder

Official designs for the quarters:

The Washington quarter will be minted on British soil and only be worth 70 cents (the other 30 cents will be taken by taxes to the crown).

Adams will get a federally issued coin, but he wont like it.

Freedom loving Jefferson's coin will first be issued to and put into circulation through the ancestors he sired with his African slaves.

since most people dont care nor know many of the presidents (and I dont have that much time), I'll just hit the highlights from here on out:

John Quincy Adams doesnt need a portrait, just a "Q" on the coin.

By law, Jackson's coin will now be used exclusively as $1 tokens at Indian Casinos and accepted no where else.  It can be exchanged for Sacajawea coins at the door for expenditure elsewhere.

A handful of Polk coins will be handed to all Mexicans entering the Southwest.

Taylors coin will be eatable and serve as an antacid.

Lincoln doesnt get one, until Illinois lets us stop minting pennies for 3 cents each.

Grants coin will not be acceptable south of the Mason Dixon line.

Garfield will be circulated by using them to pay political appointees.

Cleveland's coin will be issued on two, non-consecutive occasions... and no one will remember either one.

The Teddy Roosevelt coin will double as a shiny object suitable for the trap and slaughter of raccoons and other cute, cuddly animals that he sought to protect and then kill.

Instead of a coin, they are planning on issuing $1 sheets of corrugated steel for Hoover.

FDR doesnt get a coin, they can do this because they are confident that even if he was alive he wouldn't be able to stand up to them.

Truman's coin will come encased in lead, for obvious reasons.

The Kennedy coin will be issued with much fanfare. However, it should be noted that the coin is not bullet proof, cannot fly, and should avoid skiing.  It will be accepted as payment in full for vehicular homicides in association with DUIs.

The Johnson coin will be issued in limited numbers as non-participating observers of the economy.  

Plans for Carter's coin include making it the smartest coin in the nation - but for some reason people still wont like it.

Apparently Reagon already borrowed against his coins when he was in office to increase military spending.

Bush I's coins will be taken to pay for some new taxes...

Clinton may or may not have already had some coin from a real estate deal in... look!  A blowjob in the whitehouse!  What were we talking about?

In an unparalleled move the treasury department has actually designed the currency for the sitting president.  Instead of a coin, treasury officials plan on issuing a small plastic tube with $1 worth of oil it.



There, I think I jabbed equally at all political views.  If you dont get it, go read something about the president and you should... or I didnt do a good enough job.  Kinda' wrote them on the fly.

- Jesse

agree with all except dubyas...his coin will be stamped out on BULL s--T.