Adding insult to...

[RecycleMichael]

I have been trying to come up with some creative insults to use with the kids. My goal is to be more funny than mean, but absurd and personal at the same time.

Examples I have used...

"His head is so big when he was born his parents put him in the state fair to make money for college."

"Her mama collects dirt clods."

"That boy smells like a dog eating chili."

Please help me come up with more. I know all the posters in the political forum can come up with insults. I have been reading them.

[Townsend]

RM,

Aimed at the kids or to use in conversation about others outside the family?

[waterboy]

One I liked as a child was, "If I had a dog as ugly as you, I'd shave its butt and make it walk backwards!"

[RecycleMichael]

quote:Originally posted by Townsend

RM,

Aimed at the kids or to use in conversation about others outside the family?

Mostly used to amuse my children's friends...

Done properly, while smiling, a creative insult can make everyone laugh. I often make myself the object, but other times use them or strangers.

"That shirt is so bright you can see it through a porta potty."

[PonderInc]

When in doubt, quote Foghorn Leghorn:
"That boy's about as sharp...as a bowlin' ball."

[Townsend]

quote:Originally posted by PonderInc

When in doubt, quote Foghorn Leghorn:
"That boy's about as sharp...as a bowlin' ball."

Good call.

"That boy's as strong as an ox, and just about as smart."

"Pay attention, boy! I'm cuttin' but you're not bleedin'!"

"Go away, boy, ya bother me!"

"Kid don't stop talking so much he'll get his tongue sun burned."

"That boy's so dumb, he thinks a Mexican boarder pays rent."

http://forum.bcdb.com/forum/_C11/_F13/Foghorn_Leghorn_quotes_P8964/gforum.cgi?do=post_view_flat;post=8964;page=1;mh=-1;guest=14839846;sb=post_latest_reply;so=ASC

[Conan71]

quote:

Originally posted by RecycleMichael:

Conan's mama wears combat boots.

Conan71:

I caught your mama trying to shoplift a pair of my mama's combat boots from our last garage sale.

RecycleMichael:

You called that a garage sale?

I thought your mama was starting her own landfill.

Man, I have tried to think of a comeback for that one all afternoon, I can't.  You pwned me on that one!

[]

[Ed W]

I'd call ya a paste-eatin' sissy boy, but I know you don't like paste!

[naenae42day]

I used to hear:
Dad...where we going?
"Up a hog's donkey for a ham sandwich"
(course Dad was then asked 5 minutes later-I thought we were getting a sandwich)

OR
Me and you are gonna get together like a hole and a donut. (when speakin of getting a butt whoopin)

[Michael71]

http://www.comedy-zone.net/jokes/laugh/insults/index.htm

These might help!