Obama: Economic crisis 'not as bad as we think'

[Gaspar]

President Obama this morning:

Our preliminary estimates were premature.  We prematurely reacted and now we are making this premature blanket statement about something we don't fully comprehend.

Thank you for the $16,880 each one of you will be giving to thwart what we thought may have been a crisis.  We haven't spent it yet but we intend to because there's no telling what this crazy economy thing could do (some boos, 2 apprehended and dragged away, 1 person faints).

No one can predict when we will need this money, but we will, and much of it is already promised to programs and people dear to my the public's heart.  We will spend it wisely (crowd explodes with cheers, camera man faints, fade to camera two).

If we emerge from this recession early we may still ask for another stimulus program we will just call it something else that you will like more.  After all, Speaker Pelosi has grown fond of expensive aircraft (President chuckles, crowd laughs, 3 people faint).

We are not out of the woods yet!  I don't know what that means, but I sure like saying it.  Citi Bank has refused additional funding and our plans to nationalize the banking sector is threatened.  We can't leave these institutions in the hands of greedy CEO's who will use them to make money and employ people.  Effective immediately, no institution will be allowed to refuse government bailout money (crowd confused for a moment, one man cheers, crowd joins in, dog faints, police horse f@rts, Al Gore leaps to his feet and captures horse f@rt in large plastic bag, reporters throw flowers).

Thank you, now I have to get back to my cabinet meeting and try to fill some seats.  This "hiring people" thing is hard, I've never done it before, and I have so much more respect for those greedy evil CEO's now (dramatic pause) Just kidding.  Raise your hand if you would like to work for me. (crowd erupts into mixture of cheers and faints, 3 hands go up).


Ok... So that was an extreme paraphrase.  President Obama did use those exact words, just not in that order.

Real story: http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D96SP30G5&show_article=1


Actually I'm really glad he's starting to say positive things about the economy.  I think that helps more than many people think.

[Chicken Little]

Technically speaking, that's a lampoon, not a paraphrase.

[Gaspar]

Technically speaking, that's a lampoon, not a paraphrase.

I was using the term "paraphrase" as a lampoon too.

[Chicken Little]

Ah, well you put some work into it.  I didn't personally fall out of my chair laughing, but nevertheless...+1.

[Nik]

Ok, I'm confused. I didnt see any of the text in your post in the article linked. Am I missing something?

[Cats Cats Cats]

Ok, I'm confused. I didnt see any of the text in your post in the article linked. Am I missing something?

Yes, yes you are

In an unrelated to your above quote comment.

I would also like to point out that.... You complain because Obama is too pessimistic about the economy.  Then he says something more optimistic you complain about that too.  Everybody told me that the President isn't supposed to tell the truth and always say put all your money in stocks.  Pick a stance and complain about it, don't complain about both.

[we vs us]

Ok, I'm confused. I didnt see any of the text in your post in the article linked. Am I missing something?

Gaspar likes to throw together the occasional interpretive dance for us, if the text doesn't say what it ought to. 

You have to be in a particular head-space to appreciate it, though.

[Gaspar]

Sometimes reality is outlandish, sometimes the outlandish becomes reality.  Today we see so much of the former. 

I forgot to tell you how he finished his speech. . .

[USRufnex]

Gaspar likes to throw together the occasional interpretive dance for us, if the text doesn't say what it ought to. 

You have to be in a particular head-space to appreciate it, though.

I like to think of Gaspar as the lead liturgical dancer for the Church of Guido....  yawn... when is brunch?                                                               

[guido911]

Not only is the economy not that bad, apparently it's a freaking hilarious subject to Obama:

From Politico:

President Barack Obama said he believes the global financial system remains at risk of implosion with the failure of Citigroup or AIG, touching off "an even more destructive recession and potentially depression."

His remarks came in a "60 Minutes" interview in which he was pressed by an incredulous Steve Kroft for laughing and chuckling several times while discussing the perilous state of the world's economy.

"You're sitting here. And you're— you are laughing. You are laughing about some of these problems. Are people going to look at this and say, 'I mean, he's sitting there just making jokes about money—' How do you deal with— I mean: explain. . ." Kroft asks at one point.

"Are you punch-drunk?" Kroft says.

"No, no. There's gotta be a little gallows humor to get you through the day," Obama says, with a laugh.

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0309/20339.html

High unemployment, deficits in the trillions, taxpayer-funded bonuses to AIG execs, bailouts of Wall Street, GM & Chrysler...What a side-splitting, knee slappin, laugh riot!

[Cats Cats Cats]

I get a joke e-mail about the economy about every other day now.  These come from people around retirement age that probably lost 30-45% of their market.  So yes, jokes are being made to try to make people feel a little better about losing 1/3 of their money.  It isn't really funny but what else are you going to do?  Oh, complain on a web forum

[Gaspar]

The Congressional Budget Office completed their analysis of the Presidents budget, and they conclude that it creates unsustainable deficits and will increase borrowing to more than $US9 trillion ($13.06 trillion) over the next decade.  That is over 80% of our gross domestic product.

It is expected to increase by 3.6 trillion by next year (just the cost of the President's budget alone).  If we keep getting the weekly extra trillion, like we have over the past couple of weeks, we can't even begin to forecast our debt.  By 2010 we will have quadrupled the Bush Deficit according to the CBO.

China has slowed their purchase of US Treasury Notes.  Currently 2 thirds of China's currency reserves are held in US Notes.  They are cutting our credit limit.  Now we have to increase printing.

LOL!  According to the CBO we are now spending a million dollars a minute. 

We're in uncharted territory with an inexperienced crew.  Hold on. 

Very very good time to buy gold.

[Rico]

It was my understanding of the "Market Wrap", I was able to listen to today....

That the current Treasury attempt to handle the "Toxic Assets" situation.... would be to sell them at a rate of 7%... Through a private / public investment fund.

The Market reaction was; that say a 500K house that turned "upside down" due to the real estate meltdown would be selling, theoretically, at a rate of $3500.

Sooooooo.. say that house sold by the fund for say $200K that would be a significant profit yes?

One Gentleman described it as "a license to print money"....

I would like one of those "to go" please...!

If things are really as bad as above described it could come in quite handy.

of course I could have gotten it all wrong... Then the truth would still be inside "the Math".

[USRufnex]

gotta luv them public/private partnerships ..... better than gubmint cheese....

[RipTout]

Not only is the economy not that bad, apparently it's a freaking hilarious subject to Obama:

From Politico:

President Barack Obama said he believes the global financial system remains at risk of implosion with the failure of Citigroup or AIG, touching off "an even more destructive recession and potentially depression."

His remarks came in a "60 Minutes" interview in which he was pressed by an incredulous Steve Kroft for laughing and chuckling several times while discussing the perilous state of the world's economy.

"You're sitting here. And you're— you are laughing. You are laughing about some of these problems. Are people going to look at this and say, 'I mean, he's sitting there just making jokes about money—' How do you deal with— I mean: explain. . ." Kroft asks at one point.

"Are you punch-drunk?" Kroft says.

"No, no. There's gotta be a little gallows humor to get you through the day," Obama says, with a laugh.

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0309/20339.html

High unemployment, deficits in the trillions, taxpayer-funded bonuses to AIG execs, bailouts of Wall Street, GM & Chrysler...What a side-splitting, knee slappin, laugh riot!

Find the TNF members in this crowd....