Maybe Sally can get on board with this too...
The Mad Cow Myth:
By Tom "Tug" McFadden
Tug@moooveon.orgThere have recently been reports in the media about the presence of ‘Mad Cow Disease’ in the United States. I am writing this to expose the real story (or lack thereof) of this so-called ‘epidemic’.
Mad Cow Disease is a myth! It is a myth propagated by the liberal media (and other extremist groups, I will cover in more detail) in a vain attempt to make Americans give up their beef eating heritage and culture. All good True Americans eat cow meat. Our country was founded on the principle that the cow’s meat is the true Christian meat, given to us by the Lord. Praise His Name!
For a brief history of our organization, please read the following information at your leisure.
America was founded by firm Christian beef eating men. These men are today known as the Founding Fathers®. The good men at the first Thanksgiving in colonial times slaughtered a fattened calf and shared in its goodness with the local savages of New England. This started the American Beef Revolution, the one and true American Revolution. The local savages had never eaten fattened calf and found it to be delicious. Unfortunately, they had then developed a taste for cow’s meat and were soon considered a threat to those brave & patriotic Americans beef supply and pure cattle lineage. The savages would steal the good Christian cattle and intermix the wholesome beef with such savage foods as grains and corn (or maize) as the savages referred to it. The Bovine Brotherhood of True Americans® was founded shortly after this first Thanksgiving to mitigate further grain & maize integration into our meat based society.
The Bovine Brotherhood of True Americans® then organized a systematic 'voluntary migration' of these local savages. This underhanded savagery of the savages was the first attempt to desecrate and tarnish the heritage of the Bovine Brotherhood of True Americans®, your Founding Fathers® acted when called upon, what's your excuse?
Now is the time to act! The Brotherhood has never had to withstand such pressure from a centralized media source. Globalization and the information superhighway (or the cyberweb, cyberspace or as some refer to it, the ‘internets’) have created a culture of fear and intimidation against those of us in the Bovine Brotherhood of True Americans®. We urge you to do everything in your power to stop this bastardization of our values. Your Founding Fathers® acted when called upon, whats your excuse?
There are essentially four groups who wish to destroy the Bovine Brotherhood of True Americans® values and heritage that our Founding Fathers® believed so highly.
These four groups are as follows and have made it their sole purpose in life to corrupt the ways of the Bovine Brotherhood of True Americans®. These four groups shall henceforth be known as the
Quadrilateral Cowmission.1. The liberal media, or the liberal elite. – Why do such news organizations such as CNN and MSNBC even have to report on these so-called cases of Mad Cow Disease? What is their agenda? Could it be that they wish to turn us all into California Tofu Eaters and Marin County Hot tubbers? The Bovine Brotherhood of True Americans® believes this to be the case. Since when are instances of so-called Mad Cow disease even considered news? The Bovine Brotherhood of True Americans® believes news stories should only consist of the enemies of freedom worldwide, lost upper class white children, teenagers, and puppy dogs. Such issues as these deserve the most attention. Any reporting on Mad Cow Disease is just a vain attempt to destroy the Bovine Brotherhood of True Americans®. Write your local TV stations and demand all coverage of this so-called Mad Cow Disease be
censored from the nightly newscast. Our Founding Fathers® routinely fought for the censorship of the press. They acted when called upon, whats your excuse?
2. PETA – Ever since PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) was founded in the late 1990’s it has been PETA’s mission to destroy the values and societal fabric of the Bovine Brotherhood of True Americans®. The PETA threat must be neutralized immediately. PETA’s platforms of vegetarianism and political activism pose a threat to all Bovine Brotherhood of True Americans® all over America. The rise of PETA and defeat of PETA will be not at all unlike the bravery our Founding Fathers® showed when they forced the 'voluntary migration' of savages to the Western hinterlands. The Founding Fathers® acted when they were called upon, what's your excuse?
3. Oprah Winfrey - Oprah Winfrey should be considered in the 'liberal elite', but she is a case unto her own. You may remember in early 1998, that Oprah Winfrey singlehandedly drove many Texas cattlemen out of business with her propaganda. Subsequently, millions of women who normally would have cooked up a steak or burger for the man & children in her life, stopped buying beef over Oprah's fearmongering and paranoia. When women begin to think and organize into boycotts, it always spells trouble. The Bovine Brotherhood of True Americans® firmly believes a woman's role is to provide for her husband and children. She should not be listening to feminist claptrap from some billionaire elitist's television show. The brave Texas cattlemen (all members of the Bovine Brotherhood of True Americans®) took her rhetoric off the TV screen and challenged her in courts, to stop her vile rancor. Unfortunately, the Texas cattlemen lost due to a loaded jury. The Bovine Brotherhood of True Americans® did not have the billion dollar resources and all-star team of bottom-feeding lawyers to buy an escape from justice.
Oprah Winfrey is an immensely popular television personality, especially among the women of America. She is dangerous and needs to be mitigated IMMEDIATELY. Oprah Winfrey poses a threat to everyone of our members and should be dealt with firmly and with solid resolve. I firmly and solidly believe these are traits the members of the Bovine Brotherhood of True Americans® possess in spades. Do your part and call your local television and demand the station pull her show that carries this vile propaganda. She must be taken off the air before she strikes at the brave members of the Bovine Brotherhood of True Americans® again. The Founding Fathers® acted when called upon, what's your excuse?
4. Hindus - It is a known fact that in Hindu society, the cow is a sacred animal. India is a country with over 1,000,000,000 misled and tortured souls. Imagine, basing your religion around an animal that's so delicious. The Lord blessed us with cattle to provide for the hungry. However, these poor misguided souls refuse to eat the bounty the Lord has laid before us. This is completely against the Christian values of the Bovine Brotherhood of True Americans®. The Bovine Brotherhood of True Americans® believes that this Son of India is the ultimate threat to our values, due to shear numbers. We also believe that given the Hindu's numbers and power upon the world stage, that they are ultimately responsible for origination of this so-called Mad Cow Disease hoax. They obviously have a vested interest in keeping the cattle safe and out of the kitchens of the World. If you see a Hindu on the street of your hometown, please...PLEASE offer him our literature. Speak to him about changing his putrid and evil worship of such a bountiful and delicious animal. Think of the hundreds of millions of Hindus that go hungry each night. Reflect on the fact that you can be part of a wonderful and glorious renaissance. Millions of Hindus that normally would go hungry can now sit down to a delicious and savory steak or hamburger. The Founding Fathers® acted when called upon, what's your excuse?
I hope I have been able to shed some light on this myth known as Mad Cow Disease. Do not buy into the rhetoric, it is simply reprehensible and naive to believe that our Lord would taint an animal that Bovine Brotherhood of True Americans® love to eat. After all, we are Americans and we are the supreme authority of what is right and wrong in the World.
Thank you and may God bless you and your beef eating families.
Sincerely,
Tom "Tug" McFadden
tug@moooveon.org
