An Open Letter From My Friend...

[FOTD]

Satan's Open Letter to Pat Robertson

A Minneapolis Star-Tribune reader named Lily Coyle drafted the perfect answer to Pat Robertson's Haiti hate-speech earlier this week. It's almost enough to make the Bad Thoughts of the Bad Things we want to happen to Pat Robertson stop running on a constant Bad Loop in our head. And, as Elizabeth Spiers points out on her blog, it's What Mark Twain Would Do!):

Dear Pat Robertson,
I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished.
Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"? If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll.
You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.
Best, Satan
LILY COYLE, MINNEAPOLIS


Read more: Satan's Open Letter to Pat Robertson -- Daily Intel http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2010/01/satans_open_letter_to_pat_robe.html#ixzz0d0Yxjynt

http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2010/01/satans_open_letter_to_pat_robe.html

[Ed W]

Lovely.  Jonathan Swift would be proud.

[Teatownclown]

couldn't resist....

[Ronnie Lowe]

Everyone is tiptoeing around the blathering fake christians out of some misplaced respect for other folks' religion when the fake christians have demonstrated that they have no respect at all for anyone.  It reminds me that people are drawn to their personal conflicts.  Like shy people being drawn to the theatre.  Those screaming loudest about Jesus are the biggest sinners of all.  Then they project their shame and denial on the rest of us.  In Oklahoma they canonize it in law.  I take some comfort in my belief that time is not on their side.  Their day has come and gone.