You Can't Make This Stuff Up Department- Oklahoma Legislation

[Townsend]

 They should also introduce a bill to create a law that forbids the killing or destruction of any human life.

For example...

Next time someone goes the the dentist and has a molar removed, they and the dentist should be thrown in prison.

A molar is more fully human than say a blastocyst composed of only a few cells.  I still have my molars and I wouldn't go against what is natural, what God put there and intended, and go to some doctor and have some ghastly, bloody procedure to rip out and kill human life.  A human molar isn't dog life, or cat life, it's human life and shouldn't be killed.  

In order to explain your point to our esteemed legislature you'd need to replace the big word "molar" with the more easily understood "chewin' tooth".

[carltonplace]

In order to explain your point to our esteemed legislature you'd need to replace the big word "molar" with the more easily understood "chewin' tooth".

or "chomper" as in: "my tooth hurts!", "is it yer biter or yer chomper?"

[heironymouspasparagus]

Don't forget hotel bedspreads.

Obviously you don't travel much... bedspreads in hotels/motels are never washed.

[Gaspar]

Obviously you don't travel much... bedspreads in hotels/motels are never washed.

Try again.

Re-read.

[DolfanBob]

When I see Oklahoma legislation I think of "Blazing Saddles"- Mel Brooks, the governor, in some agitation, "Gentlemen! We need to do something fast to save our Phoney Baloney jobs!"

I didn't hear a Harumph from him. You watch your a$$ !

[Conan71]

I didn't hear a Harumph from him. You watch your a$$ !

Awesome!

[heironymouspasparagus]

Try again.

Re-read.

Dyslexic moment for today.

[Ed W]

Never let facts get in the way of a good story:

The federal Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) has decided against a group of PepsiCo shareholders in their efforts to stop the company from contracting with a firm that uses cells from aborted babies in producing artificial flavor enhancers.

http://www.thenewamerican.com/culture/family/11116-sec-rules-for-pepsicos-use-of-aborted-fetal-cells

First, when did the Securities and Exchange Commission replace the FDA?  Maybe Ralph Shortey is onto something.  Or maybe Ralph is just on something.

The New American could be a prime information source for the black-helicopters-and-tin-foil-hats set.  I was hesitant about posting the link because I was burned after writing a piece critical of the late Jon Swift's page about bicycling, only to find out that it was some of the best satire...ever.  It was the first time I'd encountered Poe's Law.

[Hoss]

Because Oklahoma lawmakers don't have anything better to do....   

http://www.kjrh.com/dpp/news/local_news/okla-house-of-representatives-passes-in-god-we-trust-to-senate

[jacobi]

Because Oklahoma lawmakers don't have anything better to do....   

http://www.kjrh.com/dpp/news/local_news/okla-house-of-representatives-passes-in-god-we-trust-to-senate

Beyond the whole separation of church and state thing, this sucks because our motto is AWESOME!  labor omnia vincit is great.  The new one sounds like it's somewhere in between a musical review and a 700 Club episode featuring Sarah Palin.

[Ed W]

Beyond the whole separation of church and state thing, this sucks because our motto is AWESOME!  labor omnia vincit is great.  The new one sounds like it's somewhere in between a musical review and a 700 Club episode featuring Sarah Palin.

Nope.  It has the word "labor" in it, which may imply a tacit acceptance of Labor Day and its substitution for the celebration of May Day, a labor festival held to honor working people in the rest of the world.  But May Day is too closely associated with both labor unions and communists. Can't have that.

I think the state motto should be "Cheap and Cheerful" but that's only 'cause I like the phrase.

[Red Arrow]

But May Day is too closely associated with both labor unions and communists. Can't have that.

That and it sounds too much like a distress call.

[Hoss]

That and it sounds too much like a distress call.

If the shoe fits....

[DolfanBob]

I like "The Orange Barrel State"

[nathanm]

I think "where concrete rains" might be more apt.