Santorum Pledges to End Internet Porn

[swake]

Well, really all porn.

And DO NOT google "Santorum" and "Porn", I'm warning you.

http://dailycaller.com/2012/03/14/vigorous-santorum-crackdown-may-catch-internet-porn-viewers-with-pants-down/#ixzz1pDXuAJPp

[Hoss]

Well, really all porn.

And DO NOT google "Santorum" and "Porn", I'm warning you.

http://dailycaller.com/2012/03/14/vigorous-santorum-crackdown-may-catch-internet-porn-viewers-with-pants-down/#ixzz1pDXuAJPp

This dude is really really trying to give the nomination to anyone but himself.  He's beginning to look more like he wants a theocracy more than a republic.

Inquisitions, anyone?

We've got a hell of a lot worse problems in this country than worrying about someone on teh interwehbz fapping away.

Aside from child porn, obviously.

[AquaMan]

Has he got a plan? Just making it illegal and increasing prosecution isn't going to work

Clever guy. Now he's got the support of underground porn shops.

[dbacks fan]

If he does that, what will I do with all my fre............  wait, what?

[patric]

But he knows lots of people will throw votes at something that shallow.
Look at what we ended up with as governor.

[Ed W]

So Ricky may have hit on a winner!  Let's outlaw sin.  If the power of government can stamp out porn (never mind that big government/small government bit the Republicans harp on whenever it's convenient) what other sins can it bring to an end?  How 'bout adultery?  Outlaw divorce and make shacking up with an unmarried partner a crime also.  Premarital sex gets jail time.  Lying about it gets more jail time.  For that matter, being untruthful is a sin, too, so it should be criminalized.  Lie about sex - go to jail.  Lie about anything else - it brings a jail sentence too.  How about that whole "spilled his seed upon the ground" bit?  Go to jail.  Wasn't there something about "render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and render unto God the things that are of God"?  Get caught speeding - go to jail.  Refuse to tithe on Sunday - go to jail.  Get caught in a motel room with rope, two hookers, 30 gallons of Jello, a Boy Scout manual, and an underage goat -- and you go to jail loooooong time.

[AquaMan]

We're going to need a lot more jails.

Maybe we could just export these people to France where they'll fit in nicely.

[RecycleMichael]

how do you guys type so fast with only one hand?

[Teatownclown]

Hey, if Newt weren't in the race saving our country from this fascist we'd be looking at a %60 Obama landslide....not that we won't be by November anywaze.

[Ed W]

how do you guys type so fast with only one hand?

I can't speak for the other guys, but I need both hands for...um...and I use a voice-to-text program for writhing this stiff.  I'm hopping Saintborem doesn't take my pogrom away.  Hey!  Honey!  The goat sluice again!

Gotta grow.

[heironymouspasparagus]

Get caught in a motel room with rope, two hookers, 30 gallons of Jello, a Boy Scout manual, and an underage goat -- and you go to jail loooooong time.

No, you don't.


And it's Miracle Whip - not jello....

[dbacks fan]

Crisco and visqueen.

[heironymouspasparagus]

If you get a 5 gallon bucket of corn oil, ya got a "Mazola Party".

[jacobi]

If you get a 5 gallon bucket of corn oil, ya got a "Mazola Party".

Ad in some baking powder, flower, and - ahem- vigorous mixing and your "makin' biscuits".  (Note you can add some santorum for a frothy filling that resembles chocolate)

Too soon?

I really want to see him get the nomination.  It will be hilarious to watch him debate Obama.  I can feel my Daily Show/Colbert Report funny bone twitching at the mere thought.

[Conan71]

Anyone still question why I'm no longer an (R)?

The jokes write themselves about this guy.  When do we hear about the inevitable toe-tapping incident in the Pittsburgh airport?