Coffee Drinkers!

[FOTD]

http://www.lasvegassun.com/sunbin/stories/sun/2007/nov/23/566618105.html

WOULD I MAKE THIS UP?

November 23, 2007 at 7:13:29 PST

Coffee that's all about the cup size

Women in lingerie at drive-through, and guess what, it's catching on
By Abigail Goldman
Las Vegas Sun


Coffee drinks at Sexxpresso come in three sizes: A, B and Double D.

And barista Kris McWilliams, in her red brocade bustier, fishnet tights and sensible shoes, has already come up with a coy answer for the next bore of a customer who cracks: "Where's the C cup?"

"Well," McWilliams purrs, pitching herself out the drive-through window and drawing her hand across her chest like a convention model showing off some particularly shiny car.

"Can't you see enough?"

Construction workers have started lining up outside Sexxpresso at 5:30 a.m.

The drive-through coffee shop is staffed by percolating women in their intimates. It opened this month and its owner, its don, Dennis Morrison, asks only one favor of you: Take Sexxpresso seriously.

"I want my customers to drive away, wipe the drool off their faces, and say, 'Wow, that was good coffee,' " said Morrison, who signs his e-mail Mr. Sexxpresso.

(Recommended: The "Porn Star" - a chocolate-covered cherry latte.)

Slick Southern California businessmen have already come crawling with that magic word: "franchise."

But where else besides Las Vegas would customers take latte foam with a thong?

Seattle, for one, where there are suburban variations on the theme: coffee from women in bikinis, pastry from women in pasties. In Colorado, there's a barber shop staffed by women in negligees. It's called "A Little Off the Top."

Moreover, a number of enterprising businessmen have tried to adapt the topless model: topless coffee shop, topless carwash, topless doughnut shops.

So Vegas has come late to its own game.

And Sexxpresso wouldn't have opened were it not for Morrison's 70-year-old mother, who came up with the idea. "She deserves props for that," Morrison said.

The shop sits in the middle of a parking lot. It's shaped like a coffee cup.

"This is my life," Morrison said. "This is my baby."

He spent six months searching for the right Italian coffee bean. He spent a few weeks looking for the right servers.

McWilliams, 33, once worked as a cocktail waitress. This isn't much different - looks and tips are everything.

"Do I find it degrading?" she said. "Absolutely not."

Neither does 18-year-old co-worker Brooklyn Osgood, who lets dollar bills peek out from the brim of her bra. This is a reminder, not an advertisement.

"One girl will make your drink while the other girl is hanging out the window talking to you," said Osgood, who also credits her mother for her good fortune: Mom encouraged her to take the job.

Limo and taxi drivers - the litmus test for any drive-through coffee venture - have started pulling in. Sure they all come to look, but Morrison swears they come back for the coffee.

"This is not a gimmick," he said. "This is a class operation."

Then McWilliams stepped aside to make a "Wet Dream," known everywhere else as a caramel macchiato. It's an A cup. She hands it over, beaming.

"This job is definitely not what I expected," she said. "It's better."



The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt. ~Bertrand Russell

[Ed W]

Somehow I can't see the franchise catching on around here, unless the baristas are wearing full-length flannel nighties, bunny slippers, and a full set of curlers.  Besides that, my brain works only in serial early in the morning.  First, coffee.  Second, newspaper.  Third, go to work.  Anything that disrupts the routine - especially a bit of titillation as described above - would throw my whole day off.  Can't have that.

[Conan71]

I'm cheap to start with when it comes to coffee.  I don't care for $4.00 cups of coffee, and much less about stuffing an extra buck in some broad's bra that I don't know, when I like QT coffee just fine, or my own home-brew.

[sgrizzle]

What? Tulsa gets no props for "Eye Candy Cuts?"

The above only stays going because it's indoors, I'm sure if you could see anything outdoors, there would be hell to pay.

[RecycleMichael]

Coffee is a cult. Everywhere I go I always have these wide-eyed people offering me some.

Please, have some coffee!  

NO!

[Ed W]

I don't know about you guys, but over the holidays I'm gonna shave my head, wrap myself in bedsheets, and stand on a street corner chanting:

Have a cuppa
Have a cuppa
Cuppa cuppa
Cuppa coffee!

Have a latte
Have a latte
Latte latte
Drink more coffee.

If I'm annoying enough, maybe people will give me money to go away.