You might be a liberal if...

[jamesrage]

You might be a liberal if...

1.Criminals should be understood and loved.

2.Washington bureaucrats are smarter and more compassinate than we are, so they can spend our money wisely.

3.Unborn babies should be aborted
---killers should be saved.

4.The NRA helps criminals --- the ACLU helps the helpless.

5.Christians and small business owners are a "special interest group."
---the AFL-CIO and the AARP are not.

6.When federal spending is doubled,it's a cut in spending.

7.Whoopi Goldberg speaks for the "heart and soul" of America.

8.People who work are greedy and won't share with the poor.

9.Government should set wages and prices.

10.Only the rich are dishonest---poverty causes crime.

11.Welfare should be reformed....no,shouldn't be....no, shouldn't be...

12. free market economics doesn't work (see #9)

13.Iran-Contra was wrong--Iran Bosnia was right.

14.Michael Moore makes sense.

15. AIDS is spread by lack of federal funding

[rwarn17588]

I see that jamesrage has veered into self-parody again. [}:)]

[jamesrage]

quote:Originally posted by rwarn17588

I see that jamesrage has veered into self-parody again. [}:)]

If I am a parody of a right winger you must be a parody of a liberal dude who thinks he is a moderate.

[sgrizzle]

Hooray stereotypes!

[waterboy]

You are indeed filled with mindless rage. Who is your candidate?

[joebaloney]

Does that kitchen have a toilet in it? (bottom right corner)

[Conan71]

quote:Originally posted by waterboy

You are indeed filled with mindless rage. Who is your candidate?

C'mon Waterboy, laugh at yourself a little.

All us Neo-Cons are working on repealing Presidential term limits, didn't you know that?  Bush is our man, give him a third term.  He's a known quantity, why let a novice screw things up worse?

[rwarn17588]

<jamesrage wrote:

If I am a parody of a right winger you must be a parody of a liberal dude who thinks he is a moderate.

<end clip>

I rest my case.

Nobody writes crazy sh*t like that and expects to be taken seriously.

What you've been writing for years is all a big parody of right-wingers. We're in on the joke now.

C'mon, james, 'fess up. A little confession is good for the soul.

And FOTD turns you on, right?

[}:)]

[waterboy]

quote:Originally posted by Conan71

quote:Originally posted by waterboy

You are indeed filled with mindless rage. Who is your candidate?

C'mon Waterboy, laugh at yourself a little.

All us Neo-Cons are working on repealing Presidential term limits, didn't you know that?  Bush is our man, give him a third term.  He's a known quantity, why let a novice screw things up worse?

I'm the funniest person I know. Well, at least those I know who are trying to be funny.

As far as a novice screwing things up worse...could that actually happen?....Again?[]

[jamesrage]

quote:Originally posted by waterboy

Who is your candidate?

Tom Tancredo

Against
illegal immigration.
abortion.
fake/gay marriage.
flag burning.
world trade organization.
amnesty.
guest worker programs.
frivolous lawsuits.
chain migration.
physician-assisted suicide.
estate tax.
CAFTA.
marriage penalty.
immigrants running for president.
off-shore tax havens.
granting citizenship to children of illegals who are born here.
Multilingual ballots
Race-based congressional caucuses


for
2nd amendment.
protecting our borders.
drilling in ANWR.
protecting the pledge of allegiance.
reforming the UN .
nationwide AMBER alert system for missing kids.
showing ID to vote.
abolishing the IRS and replacing it with a national sales tax.
reporting illegals who receive hospital care.
deporting illegals(technically that is part of opposing illegal immigration).
withholding funds from sanctuary cities.
showing proof of citizenship for Medicaid and State Children's Health Insurance Program.
legal immigration.
english onlyText

[Rico]

quote:Originally posted by jamesrage

quote:Originally posted by waterboy

Who is your candidate?

Tom Tancredo

Against
illegal immigration.
abortion.
fake/gay marriage.
flag burning.
world trade organization.
amnesty.
guest worker programs.
frivolous lawsuits.
chain migration.
physician-assisted suicide.
estate tax.
CAFTA.
marriage penalty.
immigrants running for president.
off-shore tax havens.
granting citizenship to children of illegals who are born here.
Multilingual ballots
Race-based congressional caucuses


for
2nd amendment.
protecting our borders.
drilling in ANWR.
protecting the pledge of allegiance.
reforming the UN .
nationwide AMBER alert system for missing kids.
showing ID to vote.
abolishing the IRS and replacing it with a national sales tax.
reporting illegals who receive hospital care.
deporting illegals(technically that is part of opposing illegal immigration).
withholding funds from sanctuary cities.
showing proof of citizenship for Medicaid and State Children's Health Insurance Program.
legal immigration.
english onlyText

You just might be a "Liberal" if you think "Right Wingers" want to carry guns so they don't get their wuzzy asses
kicked by Democrats....!

Aye James I like this thread.[8D]

[rwarn17588]

Oooo, Tancredo. That one's a sure winner. [}:)]

A nice fellow I know from Edmond quit his job about seven or eight months ago to go to work full-time for Tancredo's presidential bid.

I didn't have the heart to tell him at the time that it was pure folly.

I probably should have. Nothing has happened since to change Tancredo's inexorable futility. The latest national polls have him at a Nader-esque 3 percent of the GOP vote, at best. That's within the margin of error of, ahem, 0 percent.

http://www.usaelectionpolls.com/2008/candidates/Tom-Tancredo.html

The best he does is 5.5 percent -- in his home state. Tancredo's so nutty that even his fellow Coloradans won't vote for him.

Maybe you ought to take the hint, james.

[sgrizzle]

I'm starting my own campaign

AGAINST
Criminals
High Taxes
People who break laws
High unemployment
The draft
Low wages
Amnesia
Bears


FOR
Bill of Rights
Constitution
Amendments 1-10
Upholding the law
Balanced budget
Taking care of the elderly
Some stuff that is outside presidential authority, but sounds good
Pie

[rwarn17588]

God, that list is hilarious. Just when you think james can't become more of a self-parody, he ups the ante.

Against: "immigrants running for president." Are there any? Last I checked, all of the folks running for president are American-born, as required by the Constitution.

Against: "off-shore tax havens." You'll p*ss off a lot of rich Republicans. []

Against: "granting citizenship to children of illegals who are born here." I guess ol' james is against the explicit text of the 14th Amendment that grants citizenship to kids born on American soil.

Against: "race-based congressional caucuses." I guess ol' james doesn't care about the Constitutional right to freedom of association.

For: "nationwide AMBER alert system for missing kids." Well, duh. I don't know ANYONE against a system that tries to find kidnapped children. Do you?

For: "legal immigration." Again, I don't know ANYONE who's against legal immigration. Do you?

For: "english only." Of course, james is one of many who scream "English only!" who are not well-versed in the language they claim to be defending. Bone up on your capitalization, spelling and punctuation, james, and you might be in a better position to make your arguments. But I'm not holding my breath this will occur.

Thanks, james. You're always good for a laugh.

[}:)]

[Double A]

Joe Republican gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and that they work as advertised. All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too.

He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry. In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.

Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He walks on the government-provided sidewalk to subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

Joe likes to email his friends. He likes to talk on the phone. He is secure in his knowledge that everything he says in the email and on the phone is secure and that no one is listening in or reading his mail because those commie liberal constitution framers believed that Joe had the right to privacy. It is noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills.

Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression. Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime. Joe also forgets that his in addition to his federally subsidized student loans, he attended a state funded university.

Joe is secure in his walk to the bank with the knowledge that no police agency has the right to arrest and jail him without due process and probable cause. He has the right to an attorney, a jury of his peers and to be brought before a magistrate in a timely fashion. His family has the right to know he has been arrested. Again Joe can thank those commie constitution framers.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards to go along with the tax-payer funded roads. He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."