Up with Trees wooden signs

[RecycleMichael]

I have been trying to write some joke answers to the question of why Up with Trees uses wood for it's signs. The real reason is that trees are a renewable resource, the lumber is donated, and other efforts (like using plastic/wood) have all failed so far.

I need you guys to help pick out the best answers and help me write some more...whenever Up with Trees has a booth, this is the number one question asked. I never want to give the straight answer...these are more flippant...

So far...

"You are the first to notice...here, have a toothpick"

"We tried making them out of stone, but it looked like a cemetary"

"We don't kill the whole tree, we just use branches"

"Look closely and you'll see the signs are alive"

"We merged with Up With Termites"

"We reclaimed the wood from the S.S. Minnow"

"...and workers at the zoo wear leather shoes"

"These trees died on their own, they would have wanted to be used this way"

"and we mulch with wood chips...we say, use the whole tree"

"Somebody has got to stop that Paul Bunyan guy"   

[PepePeru]

please address your question in written form.

[brianh]

It's just spare material we confiscated from the Down With Trees organization.

[tshane250]

"They're an incentive for the trees not to die."

"It encourages people to ask questions."

"Where do you think all the limbs from the ice storm went?"

"They are made of petrified wood."

"What signs?"

"Shouldn't you keep your eyes focused on the road?"

[Conan71]

We couldn't bear the thought of cremating these dead trees.

[cannon_fodder]

They were the trees that refused to play by our rules.

[Breadburner]

"Morning Wood" "it's whats for breakfast"....

[Townsend]

"Morning Wood" "it's whats for breakfast"....

Must. fight. the. urge. to. comment...

[tulsascoot]

"They are actually made from the last guy who asked that question"

[DolfanBob]

Hey no worries, We water them as well.
We wanted to keep the deceased family members close.
It's a honor to serve in the U.W.T. corps.
Those arnt names on there, they are lumber tattoos.

[TTownGen4]

"Those are there so the transients would have something to build a fire with, instead of using the trees".

[cannon_fodder]

We wanted something still standing after the ice storm.

[PonderInc]

It's our way of honoring the fallen...