How many City Councilors...

[David Arnett]

How many City Councilors does it take to screw up a light bulb?  [)]

[TulsaSooner]

One and it can be Turner or Henderson.

What do I win?

[Breadburner]

Can they be ex city councilors..

[RecycleMichael]

Q: How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I'll have an estimate for you a week from Monday.

Q: How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One-third less than for a regular bulb.

Q: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a suprising twist at the end.

Q: How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One.

Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a cosmos of nothingness.

Q: How many Orthodox Rabbis does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Change?

Q: How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. It turned itself in.

Q: How many gorrillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it sure takes a truckload of light bulbs!

Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three: One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.

Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Californians screw in hot tubs.

Q: How many drunks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Seven, one to hold the light bulb and six to drink until the room spins.

[Conan71]

Q: How many chiropractors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One.  But it takes ten visits to get the job done.

[pmcalk]

Q:How many folksingers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A:Two--one to change the bulb, and one to sing about how much better the old bulb was.

Q:How many Jewish mothers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None, dear.  I'll just sit the dark.  Don't mind me; you go have fun without me.

Q:How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A:How many can you afford?

Q:How many psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A:One, but the bulb has to really want to change.

[RecycleMichael]

Q:  How many divorce lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:  3 - one to argue for the rights of the old lightbulb, one to argue for the rights of the new lightbulb, and one to argue for the rights of the light socket


Q. How many Socialist Workers Party members does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Four. One to change the bulb, one to write about it for "the paper", one to sell you "the paper" and another to follow you home and
ask why you weren't at the bulb changing, if you plan to make the next one and if you were still as committed.

Q. How many historians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. I dunno - not my period.

Q. How many revisionist historians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. In actual fact, against popular consensus, the lightbulb was never actually changed.

Q. How many cultural historians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. I am less interested in the lightbulb than the discourses surrounding the changing.

Q. How many art historians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. 11. One to change the lightbulb, and 5 to show earlier versions that influenced it, and 5 to say that the changing was actually done by
the changers apprentice.

Q: How many senior Presidential Aides does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They're supposed to keep the President in the dark.

Q. How many voyeurs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Only one, but they'd much rather watch someone else do it.

Q.  How many Englishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A.  None.  They'd rather curse the darkness.

Q:  How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:  None.  If the light bulb really needed changing, market forces would have already caused it to happen.
A:  Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.
A:  None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.

Q:  How many bankers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:  None.  It's of no interest to them.

Q:  How many procrastinators does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:  One - but he has to wait until the light is better.

Q:  How many egotists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:  One. He holds onto the lightbulb, and waits for the world to revolve around him.

Q:  How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
A:  One, but it takes at least three light bulbs.

[Conan71]

Hey David!

Q: What do you call a drummer w/o a girlfriend?
A: Homeless

Q: How do you know when a drummer's riser is level?
A: Drool is coming out both sides of his mouth.

Q: How do you know when there is a drummer at your front door?
A: He keeps beating on the door faster because he's lost.

[David Arnett]

LOL, dear posters it was "SCREW UP" not screw in, but I do love the humor.  Just goes to prove we can have a little fun with politics. Or that some of us have very little to do during the day...

[jne]

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?


Charismatic : Only 1
Hands are already in the air.

Pentecostal : 10
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.


Presbyterians : None
Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic : None
Candles only.


Baptists : At least 15.
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the
potato salad and fried chicken .

Episcopalians: 3
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.


Mormons : 5
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians :
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence


Methodists : Undetermined
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

Nazarene : 6
One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.


Lutherans: None
Lutherans don't believe in change.

Amish :
What's a light bulb?