Election night predictions

[Ed W]

Election Day 2008

7:00 PM  As early returns become available from the East coast, a surprisingly high turnout works to favor Democratic candidates.  Initial reports indicate very tight races in Ohio, Virginia, North Carolina, and Florida.  

8:00 PM  Continued poll returns show Senator Obama edging ahead of Senator McCain in Ohio, Virginia, and North Carolina.  Surprisingly, he is also leading my a small margin in Georgia.  Senator McCain leads in Florida.

8:30 PM  Initial returns for Midwest states follow earlier polling predictions, with Senator McCain leading in most states.  However, Senator Obama's lead grows in Eastern states, giving him a virtual lock on their electoral votes.

9:00 PM  Reports indicate that the Democrats will take over many Congressional seats formerly occupied by Republicans.

10:00 PM  Mountain states overwhelmingly vote for John McCain, with the exception of Colorado and New Mexico.

10:30 PM  Initial results from California point to a victory for Barak Obama.

11:00 PM  All major news outlets declare Barak Obama as the next President of the United States.

11:05 PM  Senator John McCain's head explodes.

11:06 PM  Sarah Palin vows to carry on John McCain's legacy, "Whatever that is."

11:08  PM  While Dick Cheney hovers in the background, an obviously nervous President Bush declares that "to save our democracy, the election results must be nullified."  He calls for a 'do over' as a result of Senator McCain's tragic death and declares himself President for another four years.  Amazingly, while he is speaking, Dick Cheney's lips never move.

11:35 PM  So-called Red states secede from the Union.  Sarah Palin, declaring herself "John McCain's rightful heir" also declares herself President of the Real Americans, and calls for actual war rather than just a continuing cultural war.  She intends to arrest and imprison opponents from the Blue states, as well as dissidents, environmentalists, and all known high-profile registered Democrats.  "They're not real Americans," she insists, "so we'll lock 'em up and re-educate them until they ARE!  You betcha."

11:40 PM  Barak Obama announces his victory at a rally in Chicago, but only seconds into his speech, the power goes out.  Heavily armed federal agents arrest him as a possible enemy combatant and hustle him off stage.  He is never seen again.

[RecycleMichael]

The polls close in Virginia at 7pm eastern. The major networks declare that Obama has won Virginia and will and be the next President at 6:01 pm central time.

[Conan71]

My prediction?

I'll be drunk by 7:30 CST.

[cynical]

quote:Originally posted by RecycleMichael

The polls close in Virginia at 7pm eastern. The major networks declare that Obama has won Virginia and will and be the next President at 6:01 pm central time.

I think the Pennsylvania polls close at 8:00 eastern time.  It will take a long time for actual vote counts to emerge there.  Past experience tells us not to trust exit polls to predict the winner.  They're still very useful for gathering information.

I believe the networks have an agreement to not call the race until the west coast polls close, so even if it is obvious that one or the other has won it, they'll talk around it until 9:00 our time.  I seriously doubt anything will be settled by then anyway because of Pennsylvania's late closing.

[swake]

quote:Originally posted by Conan71

My prediction?

I'll be drunk by 7:30 CST.

+1

[Double A]

Sounds like there's a need to think of some watch party drinking games.

[Ed W]

Drinking games?  Hmmmmm.

I wrote that up at the top under the influence of Arabica beans.  Dunno what could happen if I combined alcohol and close proximity to a computer - other than the fact that my spelling ability would go straight to Hell.

Should we have a victory celebration/death knell of Western Civilization on here Tuesday?  I have a dentist's appointment in the morning, so I won't be out of work until fairly late.

[Red Arrow]

quote:Originally posted by Ed W

I wrote that up at the top under the influence of Arabica beans.  Dunno what could happen if I combined alcohol and close proximity to a computer - other than the fact that my spelling ability would go straight to Hell.

You must be some kind of elitist thinking that you should spell better than the rest of us. []