Why Did That Damn Chicken Cross The Road?

[Conan71]

I thought I'd relieve some election year tension:

Why did the chicken cross the road?  

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOE BIDEN: That chicken personally called me and said, "Joe," he called me Joe.  He said, "Joe, with all your foreign policy experience, what is your opinion of my plan to engage the other side of the road?"

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that maverick chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in maverick cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

SARAH PALIN: Where's my shotgun?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What exactly is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure, right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance  it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care WHY the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road. That chicken is either for us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my shotgun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road. I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: That chicken crossed the road to steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain . . ., alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing the road together, in peace.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

[pmcalk]

Funny.

But I disagree with what the chicken would say to Joe Biden--the chicken would definitely call him "Joey".

[Conan71]

Pat Buchanan was the one that slayed me.

[Hoss]

quote:Originally posted by Conan71

Pat Buchanan was the one that slayed me.

I think you might actually be able to interchange Pat and Lou Dobbs fairly easily.

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