You raise some good points. However, those commercial developments are 3-5 miles away from the subdivisions.
Put your suburbanite hat on for a minute. 3-5 miles is nothing in a car if the traffic isn't too much. No one out here is really going to expect urban walkability.
If the area develops, it is likely that a commercial hub would go in anyway.
I am confident it will not be stuff like Whole Foods. I would expect a Chili's, Neighborhood Walmart, another CVS or Walgreen's. Stuff that still misses the mark of something like Fresh Market or Whole Foods.
But to clarify, I don't think Tulsa should actively block the bridge. It certainly isn't devastating for Tulsa. Merely that I understand why Tulsa doesn't want to help pay for it. Eventually, the bridge is likely to happen - the question is, "on who's dime?"
See my previous posts about Bixby and Jenks paying for the bridge and helping with the improvements to Yale and Delaware.