Does Bill Maher?....

[FOTD]

ROCK OR WHAT!
His last couple of monologues/writings have been brilliant. This devil loves the lead from the last one, that since the elections, the Democrats have moved to the right and the Republicans have moved to the mental hospital.
He's been right on for months now. Just keeps getting better....


August 21, 2009

New Rule: No Shame in Being the Sorry Party

New Rule: If Mitt Romney, Karl Rove and Sarah Palin all think America has never done anything wrong, we must be doing something wrong. Look at them: an empty suit, an empty heart and an empty head. It looks like the news team on Good Morning Hell. And what they've been competing about lately is who would not apologize the most. America is infallible, and apologies are horrible things that must never, ever be given. Except by me when I make a joke about the Pope. "We're perfect -- deal with it," is their new handshake. But I say, what's wrong with America occasionally saying, "I'm sorry"? Because these are the three sorriest white people I've ever seen.

If in your eyes America can do no wrong, you should really look into Lasik surgery. There's the rational, mature assessment of our country: that it's a great nation -- especially if you like fried foods -- but it also has its faults. And then there's the Republican view: that it's perfect and pure in every way and it's always right all the time, just like Leviticus and Ronald Reagan.

If the founders were alive today, Republicans would be giving them smile because the Preamble to the Constitution says, "In order to form a more perfect union? Hello, it's already perfect! Why are you suggesting American apologetics, Ben Franklin?"

One of the things that makes Republicans furious about our current president is their idea that Obama is always apologizing for America's biggest mistakes. Unlike President Bush. Who was one of America's biggest mistakes.

In his first week as president, Obama did an interview with Arab TV in which he said, "We sometimes make mistakes. We have not been perfect." Thought crime! And then he went to Cairo and violated one of those absolute eternal rules the Right Wing is always making up out of thin air: "The president must never apologize on foreign soil. Lest our allies begin to doubt that we're assholes. "

But what did Obama actually say to make Karl Rove's head explode and the popcorn fly out? Cover your children's ears: When he was asked if he believed in American exceptionalism, he said he did, the same way "the Brits believe in British exceptionalism and the Greeks in Greek exceptionalism." Yes, our so-called president actually said people in other countries might like their countries better. I was so shocked I nearly dropped the Bible I was using to help me masturbate into my gun.

In her farewell speech -- if only -- Sarah Palin kept telling us "how she's wired." Now I'm not a doctor, or an electrician -- but this is faulty wiring, this worldview that, in her words, "we should never apologize for our country." Really? Never? Not for slavery? Or Japanese internment camps, or if we tortured the wrong guy at Guantanamo? The Indians? Nothing, Sarah? "The Real Housewives of Atlanta"? Shouldn't John McCain apologize for... you?

When did intractability become a virtue? Mitt Romney's new book is called No Apology: The Case For American Greatness. You can find it at Borders, in the "Suck-Up" section. It's such a perfect title, combining paranoia with arrogance: "No one has yet asked me to apologize but, if someone ever does, love them."

Conservatives think apologizing is a sign of weakness. It's what liberal pussies do, when they're not busy driving electric cars and feeling empathy. When in fact it's the weak and the scared who are too insecure to apologize. Apologies are actually a sign of strength. That's why six-year-olds hate them.

In Rwanda, after a genocide that killed a million people, they set up special courts where people stood up and said, "Hey, sorry I macheted your entire family. My bad." And believe it or not, in most cases, that was enough. That's the power of an apology. A recent study reveals that doctors who are willing to apologize to patients for their mistakes are sued for malpractice about half as much as doctors who aren't willing to apologize.

Apologies can do great things, and they can enable great things. And if you still don't believe me, I have three words for you: make-up sex.


Follow Bill Maher on Twitter: www.twitter.com/billmaher

[HazMatCFO]

I apologize for reading this post.

[guido911]

I apologize for reading this post.

You'd better apologize.

[tulsascoot]

Me like Bill Maher. He speaks the truth.

[Teatownclown]

THE GIGS UP!

Red states in on the joke, says Maher
Bill Maher: 10 Years of 'Real Time'
http://www.variety.com/article/VR1118066259/
"The audiences are better, if anything, because the people in red states who are the progressive thinkers ... they are thrilled that somebody who thinks like them came to their town where they are normally mostly surrounded by rednecks."

Maher recently played Tulsa, Okla., and used that city as an example of the reception he often gets from enthusiastic fans who might be blue over the preponderance of red.

"I remember being there the last time and getting a five-minute ovation just for walking out," he says. "That doesn't happen in San Francisco. Not that San Francisco isn't a great crowd, too, but there it's a little more predictable -- what they're going to be, what I'm going to be.

"In Tulsa and places like that," he adds, "it's just more of a rarity that I would come and I think they're very appreciative that I didn't write off the whole region and say, 'You know what? Those are a bunch of hillbillies there. I'm not going there.' Because I've discovered that wherever you go in America, no matter how red the state is, there are a lot of liberal people marbled into the population."

And there you go! About 2400 showed up.

It ain't Howdy Doodey Time anymore....it's 4:20

[Red Arrow]

"no matter how red the state is, there are a lot of liberal people marbled into the population."
And there you go! About 2400 showed up.

Every place has its down side.

[Conan71]

THE GIGS UP!


And there you go! About 2400 showed up.

It ain't Howdy Doodey Time anymore....it's 4:20

That's cool, the ill-informed can order in!!

[dbacks fan]

So they only sold half the seats? Wow, bet they have bigger crowds for indoor soccer.

Or should it be "No sell out to see sell out"?

[sgrizzle]

I don't agree with.. well most anything the man says, but I do like his style.

I replay this particular clip regularly.

[Conan71]

So they only sold half the seats? Wow, bet they have bigger crowds for indoor soccer.

Or should it be "No sell out to see sell out"?

I thought he played the Brady, that's about capacity there, I think.

[Hoss]

I thought he played the Brady, that's about capacity there, I think.

About 2900 on the floor, 1300 in the mez if memory serves correctly.  I saw Dice Clay there MANY moons ago.  1991 I think.

[Townsend]

  I saw Dice Clay there MANY moons ago.  1991 I think.

Oh man, that was when he was still funny and not really really really really sad.  I think his jump the shark was when he cried on Arsenio.  What a pathetic pile of crap that was.

[cynical]

About 2900 on the floor, 1300 in the mez if memory serves correctly.  I saw Dice Clay there MANY moons ago.  1991 I think.

No. When set up with purely theater seating (no tables) the Brady seats 2,800 total, orchestra and balcony.

[Hoss]

Oh man, that was when he was still funny and not really really really really sad.  I think his jump the shark was when he cried on Arsenio.  What a pathetic pile of crap that was.

Yes.  The house was packed that night.  I also remember seeing the protesters outside as I went in.

[dbacks fan]

From wiki.....

Located at 105 West Brady Street, the building is four stories tall, occupying an area of 130 feet by 160 feet. It was designed with a seating capacity for 4,200 people (including 1,300 in the balcony). The stage was 70 feet wide and 40 feet deep, and slopes 13 feet from back to front. According to the Tulsa Preservation Commission, the building also contained the only municipally owned pipe organ west of the Allegheny Mountains.[3]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brady_Theater

http://www.exploretulsachannel.com/index.php/explore-tulsa/attractions/item/7-brady-theater

Guess that must be the original configuration. According to Brady's twitter, there are only 2800 seats.

https://twitter.com/BradyTheater