BOA Apologizes For Debit Card Fee SNAFU

[Conan71]

The following letter was sent today by Bank of America to all of its debit card customers:

Dear Valued Customer:

As most of you probably know by now, last month we instituted a $5 monthly fee for all of our debit card users.  To say that what followed this decision was a shitstorm would be a massive understatement.

Considering that just three years earlier taxpayers had bailed us out with billions of their hard-earned dollars, it's understandable that Bank of America was compared to a person who, as he is pulled from a burning building, turns and kicks the fireman in the nuts.

That's why we are writing to you today with a simple message: "Our bad."  And to tell you that we are refunding the $5 to you, effective immediately.  All you have to do is pay a simple, one-time $10 refund fee.

You can receive your refund online, or pick it up at your nearest Bank of America branch, where a teller will hand the money directly to you for a simple, one-time $15 handling fee.

If you do visit your branch, feel free to use any of our services, including our state of the art ballpoint pens and deposit slips.  (Prices on request.)

Again, accept our apologies for instituting the debit card fee.  We have learned our lesson, and we make this solemn promise: next time we squeeze money from you, we'll do it in a way you won't notice.

Sincerely,

Bank of America

[Red Arrow]

The following letter was sent today by Bank of America to all of its debit card customers:

Dear Valued Customer: ...
Bank of America

They have been listening to too much TV marketing:

Buy this widget (which only costs us $2) for ONLY $9.99 + Shipping and handling....

But wait!  Get a second one FREE for only shipping and handling....

Money back guarantee....(except for the shipping and handling which is where we really make our money) if not satisfied.

[nathanm]

Buy this widget (which only costs us $2) for ONLY $9.99 + Shipping and handling....

But wait!  Get a second one FREE for only shipping and handling....

Can I interest you in a free pair of reading glasses? Shipping and handling is only $5.95! If you'll take two, I'll knock a buck off the shipping and handling for the second one!

[Hoss]

The following letter was sent today by Bank of America to all of its debit card customers:

Dear Valued Customer:

As most of you probably know by now, last month we instituted a $5 monthly fee for all of our debit card users.  To say that what followed this decision was a shitstorm would be a massive understatement.

Considering that just three years earlier taxpayers had bailed us out with billions of their hard-earned dollars, it's understandable that Bank of America was compared to a person who, as he is pulled from a burning building, turns and kicks the fireman in the nuts.

That's why we are writing to you today with a simple message: "Our bad."  And to tell you that we are refunding the $5 to you, effective immediately.  All you have to do is pay a simple, one-time $10 refund fee.

You can receive your refund online, or pick it up at your nearest Bank of America branch, where a teller will hand the money directly to you for a simple, one-time $15 handling fee.

If you do visit your branch, feel free to use any of our services, including our state of the art ballpoint pens and deposit slips.  (Prices on request.)

Again, accept our apologies for instituting the debit card fee.  We have learned our lesson, and we make this solemn promise: next time we squeeze money from you, we'll do it in a way you won't notice.

Sincerely,

Bank of America

Nice to see you read the Borowitz report as well...

[Conan71]

Nice to see you read the Borowitz report as well...

Actually forwarded by a friend, no idea the origins.

[Red Arrow]

Can I interest you in a free pair of reading glasses?

Maybe, I usually do not see the amount of the S&H charges on the TV screen.  

[nathanm]

Maybe, I usually do not see the amount of the S&H charges on the TV screen.  

That's why I give them away on the Internet. You can Ctrl-+ to your heart's content.

[Red Arrow]

You can Ctrl-+ to your heart's content.

Thanks, learned something.  I didn't know about Ctrl-+.

[Hoss]

Thanks, learned something.  I didn't know about Ctrl-+.

Ctrl and scroll wheel on the mouse do the same thing....

[Conan71]

Ctrl and scroll wheel on the mouse do the same thing....

Apparently OS Lion has disabled mouse pad zooming, but I tried command +/- and it does the same thing.  I'll be damned.  The things I learn from the geeks on here.

[Hoss]

Apparently OS Lion has disabled mouse pad zooming, but I tried command +/- and it does the same thing.  I'll be damned.  The things I learn from the geeks on here.

Guess what?

Geeks are sexy...

http://www.geeksaresexy.net/2011/10/21/anna-fischers-geektastically-sexy-nycc-2011-photos/

[custosnox]

Guess what?

Geeks are sexy...

http://www.geeksaresexy.net/2011/10/21/anna-fischers-geektastically-sexy-nycc-2011-photos/

love that site, I dig through it daily

[Conan71]

Guess what?

Geeks are sexy...

http://www.geeksaresexy.net/2011/10/21/anna-fischers-geektastically-sexy-nycc-2011-photos/

Much better than pre-processed models any day.

[nathanm]

Ctrl and scroll wheel on the mouse do the same thing....

Is that something I'd have to have a mouse to know about?

[Conan71]

Is that something I'd have to have a mouse to know about?

Speaking of mice... an old classic